Husband’s Involvement

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Q&A Session 6 with the Director of The Son-Rise Program

Topic: Husband’s Involvement

Q: Dear Bryn, My name is Heather Frank, Cammy’s mom from The Rotterdam Son-Rise Program Start-Up. Cammy is almost 3 and a half, diagnosed with High Functioning Autism/Asperger’s. Thus far, we are still working in a playroom in progress. The shelves are finally up, mirror going up tomorrow and various other equipment almost ready including the two-way mirrored door. My son found the room on his own and we have no trouble going in for 2-3 hours every afternoon. We plan to change this to mornings when I return from the Maximum Impact in March, as we will try to get volunteers to work in the afternoon. My trouble is getting my husband involved. He is very supportive of Son-Rise, and it is his research that found the medical doctor in Atlanta which we believe will work to heal all of Cammy’s physical impairments. However, he is only available to work with Cam in the morning, as he returns from work after Cammy is in bed and thus far, it is me getting out of bed to get the day started. During the weekends, he is getting more active with Cammy, but generally I give him all of the meals, all of the games, tickles, interaction with my husband along for the ride. Not only do I want them to develop more of a relationship, I need a break! I have mentioned this a few times, but I guess I need more coaching on the best way to approach him. Any help you can give would be most helpful. Hope all is well with you and your family and looking forward to seeing you in the coming weeks in Sheffield. Best Always, Heather F. A: Dear Heather, Firstly, I am so excited to hear that we will have the chance to be with you once again in March, at the Maximum Impact Program – how exciting! This program is so powerful, and in my experience, parents return home even more empowered and excited about their programs, so we will see you very soon. Your main question is about how to help your husband become more involved. As you might imagine, my first suggestion would be to take a moment to examine your attitude (smile). As we spoke about in The Son-Rise Program Start-Up, our attitude affects every action we take: the way you talk to your husband, make suggestions, look at him etc. It would be very useful to ask yourself some questions about this issue: Are you aware of feeling annoyed or agitated with him? Do you feel frustrated with his lack of involvement? Are you aware of “pushing” him to participate? I suggest that you consider each one of these, and perhaps others, and take some time to explore your feelings, so that when you do speak with him and deal with this, you can be loving, kind and accepting. (We know this works with children…guess what? It works with big people too!) Once you are feeling relaxed, you could also consider that your husband is absolutely doing the very best he can. You are doing the best you can, Cam is doing the best he can. We all are. Perhaps you could take some special time – in the evening, when Cam is in bed, go out to dinner – and take some time to just really share with him what you want, why and suggest that together you could possibly brainstorm ways he could become more involved. It would be very useful to ask him questions as he speaks so you can gain a better understanding of his thoughts and feelings and perhaps help him to become more comfortable with working with Cam more. You could also suggest that he do a Consultation with one of our own Son-Rise Family Trainers. We would be happy to spend some time with him on the phone and perhaps help with any questions or concerns he might have. Also, when people feel they would want their spouse to be more involved, oftentimes if they can come and attend The Son-Rise Program Start-Up , the experience really helps them to become more excited and involved in the program. Why not send him here? You also mentioned that you want a break….then take one! This journey with your son is not a sprint, it is a marathon, and it is really important that you take care of yourself so that you have the energy for the long run. It would be useful, even if it results in less playroom hours for Cam, for you to take time for yourself. Also, getting volunteers would really help with this, in numerous ways. You would then have other people to be with him at different times so you could: nap, exercise, read, cook, shop etc. You would have a group of people who share your perspective who could offer you their support and enthusiasm at times when you may be more tired. At one time, while doing my Son-Rise Program with my daughter Jade, I became very tired….I realized, that I was not taking the time necessary to re-energize my batteries. So I took action, I changed my work schedule, I slept more, I started doing Yoga, and yes, for a period, I was in the room less than I had been. Ah…but I got my energy back and now I am in the playroom with such passion – and it was really worth taking the rest. In addition, I now make sure that I get enough sleep, eat well etc., so that I can keep my energy up! You can do it too – it’s all about being motivated. You have to be as motivated to take care of you, as you are to take care of Cam. Most important to remember is this, you are doing the best you can. You love him. That is what is most important, more important than how many hours you do in the playroom, or what new toys you introduce …your love for him, Heather, that is all you require. And that you have, in abundance. I hope this was helpful for you. Excited to see you in March, Bryn N. Hogan

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Dear Donor,

Jeannie Reid was searching for answers to the challenges she and her family were facing. Jeannie and her husband Stuart’s son, Carson, had been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, a condition on the Autism spectrum. For Carson that meant being completely involved in obsessive behaviors and only using minimal words to identify objects, as well as frequently and completely melting down.

Soon after, Jeannie found the book, “Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues” and when she read it, she KNEW she had found what she was looking for. She began using some of the Son-Rise techniques described in the book on her own until she was able to come to The Autism Treatment Center of America for the Son-Rise Program Start-Up. As she put into practice what she learned there, Carson’s world was opening up. Today Carson is attending a Montessori school as a 'typical' student and functioning at or above typical grade level, being fully verbal and conversational, and very interested in learning about the world and interacting as much as possible with other people. He is even taking swim lessons at the local YMCA and doing great!

“It has been wonderful to get, and stay connected with other people and Son-Rise parents from all over the world. My son’s progress had already come very far, but now I truly believe we can go all the way!”

Jeannie wrote.

Stuart Reid then attended the Empower Yourself course and brought home a new sense of clarity, balance and personal power. He shared his new empowerment with Jeannie and she in turn gained in confidence, strength and enthusiasm. Their own relationship began to flourish anew, as well. Life-altering changes were happening for Jeannie and her family.

Jeannie journeyed again to Sheffield, this time for the Fearless course at The Option Institute to help her recognize and overcome her personal obstacles. Jeannie wanted to continue her amazing journey as she had found using the techniques she learned in The Son-Rise Program and in Fearless had absolutely changed the lives of everyone in her family.

But, because the Reids’ finances had been seriously stretched by then, their next steps were put on hold. Then an amazing event changed everything. Jeannie’s college roommate and lifelong friend decided to start a Son-Rise Program scholarship fund for people from the Cleveland area. Since then Jeannie has been able to move ahead with her courses, taking Radical Authenticity, Son-Rise Maximum Impact and Son-Rise Wide Awake ... and eventually she became a Certified Group Facilitator.

Jeannie Reid’s story is about wanting BIG and making it happen. She is about to embark on her renewed private practice as an art therapist, and plans to be a super advocate for The Son-Rise Program in her area. Her wonderful new life is a product of her persistence and belief, and of the wheels she helped set in motion for others when her friends learned of how she and her family had been impacted by The Son-Rise Program.

“I know I will be able to give back by helping others, and that will be the top of my personal mountain! Thank you to everyone who donates! You are making a big difference in the world!

Jeannie Reid

 

Dear Donor

Two years ago, Antonio's kindergarten teacher told us something was not quite right with our little boy. He was not socializing, he somersaulted all the time and hardly spoke at all. At the time I was working for a municipality close to Florence, Italy and basically I had nothing left after seeing to basic necessities.

In the meantime, I looked up Autism with Google and as I was also looking for happiness and personal growth, I was guided to The Option Institute, thence the Autism Treatment Center of America. I read up as much as I could and started trying to apply the “Happiness is a Choice” suggestions. I'm not quite good at it but it has helped me with attitude, and everything else that seemed trying is really different after all this.

When I decided to come for The Son-Rise Program Start-Up, I really had little or no money to pay for it. I spoke to my friends, old and new. My mother helped me, friends I thought couldn't [help] tried their very best and the scholarship did the rest.

What the scholarship did was give a HUGE boost to my fundraising. About six friends contributed the rest, at the travel agency a very kind lady who I may now call a friend helped me some more. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. Here I am, happy to have attended the Start-Up program and looking forward to learning more and praying to God for guidance.

So the gist of the matter is, I am a happy mum who hopes to implement a wonderful relationship with her child and is riding a not so easy moment with lots of hope in her heart and THANK YOU is not enough for what I feel. I still remember William's words, “If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always got.” Now I'm trying to do different, bit by bit, day by day. I feel the difference already.

About Antonio ... we are going on with the Italian program and I play with Antonio after school in a quiet room in the house. Knowing what the little guy is exposed to (he's always putting his fingers in his ears and he seems to have problems with too much light in his eyes), I find him very brave as he bears it tolerably. Drums a lot to digest it all.

When we went to the doctor, just weeks after starting the program at home, she told me that she found him more attentive. His attention span has increased. He is also tagging or pulling at one's arm when looking for attention. The child psychologist last Saturday reported the same thing and what's more, my son has always required that I enter the room, hence assisting in every session. Well, this time he went in along with the doctor and told me, “See you later.”

At school, his teacher who speaks English as well, read up and watched my DVD (Kyle’s Journey, Jade and “I want my little boy back”). Now she's changing, bit by bit and I do appreciate that very much. He seems to be OK with her and actually sent me away from class this morning, again telling me, “See you later.”

He is now ONE HUGE GREENLIGHT and I'm hoping to be able to really have volunteers (still looking), raise funds and settle down to business.

God bless,

Jackline

 

Dear Donor,

I am the mother of three children, all on the Autism Spectrum. Before I heard of the Son-Rise Program and the Option Institute, I was a desperate, angry and depressed person…. I was on Anti-depressants, sleeping multiple hours of the day, and for a period of time, using alcohol to run away from my pain.

Then I heard of the Son-Rise Program. I called to find out more about it and thought “this if for me!” But I could not afford it. You see raising one child with Autism is very expensive but raising three is just outrageously expensive with all the therapies and dietary interventions that we were doing.

But I was offered a full scholarship to the SRSU program. I have since attended all of the Son-Rise Programs and many of the Personal Growth programs offered by the Option Institute.  Each time I have been given a scholarship and each time I go I learn more about who I am and I change for the better each and every time.  Because of your most generous support, my children are recovering from Autism, I have found happiness in my life!  I am no longer on anti-depressants and I have so much more energy.

YOU are the reason that my family is in recovery. It is because of YOU that my oldest son now is enjoying school.  YOU are the reason my second son is speaking. YOU are the reason my daughter is no longer as rigid and controlling as she once was.  Thank you does not even begin to cover how much gratitude I have for you.  I thank God every day for you and I do not even know you.

Please know that you are changing lives with your donation to ATCA and the OI.  It is because of you that every day people are getting the help that they need. Thank you, thank you and thank you!

With so much love,

Kerry Rihtar

 

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