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Seven Simple Tips to Try When Your Child Cries or Tantrums

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Seven Simple Tips to Try When Your Child Cries or Tantrums

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Seven Simple Tips to Try When Your Child Cries or Tantrums

For those of you who have attended The Son-Rise Program® Start-Up, this will be a great reminder to you, and for those of you who have not attended The Son-Rise Program foundational course, this will help you when your child (regardless of their age or diagnoses) cries, tantrums, screams and shouts, etc. These basic guidelines will help you help your child learn to communicate in a sweeter, easier way when going after their wants and desires. To communicate what you want in a sweet and clear way is an important social quality to have, particularly in your relationships with family, friends, in school, in work, etc.
  1. It Is Just Communication: Remember that when your child cries or tantrums, they are simply using this as a tool to let you know that they want something to happen (i.e. to get the cookie; to get a video; to go for a ride in the car; etc.) or to get something to stop happening (i.e. to be removed from an over-stimulating environment; to get others, who are interfering with their repetitious play, to stop interrupting their activity; etc.)
  2. Don’t Light Up Like a Christmas Tree! If you get upset and quickly move to give your child what they want when they cry or tantrum, teach them that this is the best way for him/her to get what they want. This type of reaction is similar to turning on the lights of a Christmas tree, it is big, bright and easy to remember! This behavior shows your child that their crying and tantruming is very important to you, that you “sit up and listen” and move quickly to get them what they want. Your child will learn very quickly that this is the way to communicate when their wants are not happening fast enough or it looks like they won’t get what they want.
  3. Attitude: Be as calm and easy as possible. Getting upset is the power that lights you up like a Christmas tree and gets you moving fast, and this just reinforces to your child that crying or tantruming is the most effective way to get what they want. Allow yourself to think how wonderful it is that your child has this motivation and determination and that through using The Son-Rise Program, you will help them use these very same qualities to talk, interact and become more social.
  4. Move Slowly and Stay Calm: Instead of being a Christmas tree, upset and moving quickly, be like a person walking on the moon. Move slowly and talk calmly as you help your child get what s/he wants. If they are not verbal yet, offer choices and only on the third or fourth offer, give them what you believe they are seeking. If your child is verbal, them you can’t understand them because they are crying and that if they spoke without crying you would be able to help them quicker.
  5. Do Not Give In – Offer Alternatives: Your child may be crying and tantruming for something that you have decided that you do not want them to have (i.e. more cookies; going outside because it is raining; using the computer or TV; etc.). In this situation, again be slow and calm and explain that even if they cry, they will not get the item or activity they want. You can be kind and gentle as you explain this versus frustrated and annoyed. Slowly offer alternatives that you can give them (i.e. offering a piece of fruit or rice cake instead of a cookie; etc.). If they continue to cry, tell them it is ok if they want to continue crying, then simply go do something else (read a book, do the dishes, etc.) and leave them to cry, making sure to keep an eye on them to make sure they are safe and others (i.e. siblings) around them are also safe. Remember, your child is not fragile – they can handle not getting what they want. Additionally, you are not fragile, you can handle them crying and screaming.
  6. Celebrate When You Get What You Want: If your child does not cry or tantrum when you have not given them what they wanted, celebrate them for this, pointing out how wonderful it is that they are calm and easy.
  7. Run Your Son-Rise Program: Again and again we hear from families that the more their child is in The Son-Rise Program playroom being worked with, the less they cry and tantrum. When in the playroom, they get to have 99% control and so when situations arise (and they will) when they don’t get what they want, they are better able to handle it in a calm and easy fashion.

Autism Support for Challenging Behavior

If you are having a particularly challenging situation with your child crying, tantruming, hitting, etc., then please let us help you. We (The Son-Rise Program Staff) have all been cried and tantrum-ed at, hit, bitten, been the target of a swiftly thrown object, etc.. Though our year of experience, we have learned to follow these guidelines, and more, to help a child learn to communicate in a sweeter easier way.

We would love to be of service to you – give us a call.

Source: https://blog.autismtreatmentcenter.org/2011/06/7-guidelines-to-try-when-your-child.html

Dear Donor,

Jeannie Reid was searching for answers to the challenges she and her family were facing. Jeannie and her husband Stuart’s son, Carson, had been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, a condition on the Autism spectrum. For Carson that meant being completely involved in obsessive behaviors and only using minimal words to identify objects, as well as frequently and completely melting down.

Soon after, Jeannie found the book, “Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues” and when she read it, she KNEW she had found what she was looking for. She began using some of the Son-Rise techniques described in the book on her own until she was able to come to The Autism Treatment Center of America for the Son-Rise Program Start-Up. As she put into practice what she learned there, Carson’s world was opening up. Today Carson is attending a Montessori school as a 'typical' student and functioning at or above typical grade level, being fully verbal and conversational, and very interested in learning about the world and interacting as much as possible with other people. He is even taking swim lessons at the local YMCA and doing great!

“It has been wonderful to get, and stay connected with other people and Son-Rise parents from all over the world. My son’s progress had already come very far, but now I truly believe we can go all the way!”

Jeannie wrote.

Stuart Reid then attended the Empower Yourself course and brought home a new sense of clarity, balance and personal power. He shared his new empowerment with Jeannie and she in turn gained in confidence, strength and enthusiasm. Their own relationship began to flourish anew, as well. Life-altering changes were happening for Jeannie and her family.

Jeannie journeyed again to Sheffield, this time for the Fearless course at The Option Institute to help her recognize and overcome her personal obstacles. Jeannie wanted to continue her amazing journey as she had found using the techniques she learned in The Son-Rise Program and in Fearless had absolutely changed the lives of everyone in her family.

But, because the Reids’ finances had been seriously stretched by then, their next steps were put on hold. Then an amazing event changed everything. Jeannie’s college roommate and lifelong friend decided to start a Son-Rise Program scholarship fund for people from the Cleveland area. Since then Jeannie has been able to move ahead with her courses, taking Radical Authenticity, Son-Rise Maximum Impact and Son-Rise Wide Awake ... and eventually she became a Certified Group Facilitator.

Jeannie Reid’s story is about wanting BIG and making it happen. She is about to embark on her renewed private practice as an art therapist, and plans to be a super advocate for The Son-Rise Program in her area. Her wonderful new life is a product of her persistence and belief, and of the wheels she helped set in motion for others when her friends learned of how she and her family had been impacted by The Son-Rise Program.

“I know I will be able to give back by helping others, and that will be the top of my personal mountain! Thank you to everyone who donates! You are making a big difference in the world!

Jeannie Reid

 

Dear Donor

Two years ago, Antonio's kindergarten teacher told us something was not quite right with our little boy. He was not socializing, he somersaulted all the time and hardly spoke at all. At the time I was working for a municipality close to Florence, Italy and basically I had nothing left after seeing to basic necessities.

In the meantime, I looked up Autism with Google and as I was also looking for happiness and personal growth, I was guided to The Option Institute, thence the Autism Treatment Center of America. I read up as much as I could and started trying to apply the “Happiness is a Choice” suggestions. I'm not quite good at it but it has helped me with attitude, and everything else that seemed trying is really different after all this.

When I decided to come for The Son-Rise Program Start-Up, I really had little or no money to pay for it. I spoke to my friends, old and new. My mother helped me, friends I thought couldn't [help] tried their very best and the scholarship did the rest.

What the scholarship did was give a HUGE boost to my fundraising. About six friends contributed the rest, at the travel agency a very kind lady who I may now call a friend helped me some more. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. Here I am, happy to have attended the Start-Up program and looking forward to learning more and praying to God for guidance.

So the gist of the matter is, I am a happy mum who hopes to implement a wonderful relationship with her child and is riding a not so easy moment with lots of hope in her heart and THANK YOU is not enough for what I feel. I still remember William's words, “If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always got.” Now I'm trying to do different, bit by bit, day by day. I feel the difference already.

About Antonio ... we are going on with the Italian program and I play with Antonio after school in a quiet room in the house. Knowing what the little guy is exposed to (he's always putting his fingers in his ears and he seems to have problems with too much light in his eyes), I find him very brave as he bears it tolerably. Drums a lot to digest it all.

When we went to the doctor, just weeks after starting the program at home, she told me that she found him more attentive. His attention span has increased. He is also tagging or pulling at one's arm when looking for attention. The child psychologist last Saturday reported the same thing and what's more, my son has always required that I enter the room, hence assisting in every session. Well, this time he went in along with the doctor and told me, “See you later.”

At school, his teacher who speaks English as well, read up and watched my DVD (Kyle’s Journey, Jade and “I want my little boy back”). Now she's changing, bit by bit and I do appreciate that very much. He seems to be OK with her and actually sent me away from class this morning, again telling me, “See you later.”

He is now ONE HUGE GREENLIGHT and I'm hoping to be able to really have volunteers (still looking), raise funds and settle down to business.

God bless,

Jackline

 

Dear Donor,

I am the mother of three children, all on the Autism Spectrum. Before I heard of the Son-Rise Program and the Option Institute, I was a desperate, angry and depressed person…. I was on Anti-depressants, sleeping multiple hours of the day, and for a period of time, using alcohol to run away from my pain.

Then I heard of the Son-Rise Program. I called to find out more about it and thought “this if for me!” But I could not afford it. You see raising one child with Autism is very expensive but raising three is just outrageously expensive with all the therapies and dietary interventions that we were doing.

But I was offered a full scholarship to the SRSU program. I have since attended all of the Son-Rise Programs and many of the Personal Growth programs offered by the Option Institute.  Each time I have been given a scholarship and each time I go I learn more about who I am and I change for the better each and every time.  Because of your most generous support, my children are recovering from Autism, I have found happiness in my life!  I am no longer on anti-depressants and I have so much more energy.

YOU are the reason that my family is in recovery. It is because of YOU that my oldest son now is enjoying school.  YOU are the reason my second son is speaking. YOU are the reason my daughter is no longer as rigid and controlling as she once was.  Thank you does not even begin to cover how much gratitude I have for you.  I thank God every day for you and I do not even know you.

Please know that you are changing lives with your donation to ATCA and the OI.  It is because of you that every day people are getting the help that they need. Thank you, thank you and thank you!

With so much love,

Kerry Rihtar

 

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